Dylan O’brien heads out to lunch in SoHo, NYC
The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.
I’m not brave any more darling. I’m all broken. They’ve broken me.
Things I want to hear from my psychiatrist
The problem with depression’s recovery is that it’s a long road
At first it’s okay, cause there is people around you, trying to help you, people who cares, people who ask you if you’re okay, if you want to go out with them, if you need to talk, people who pick up their phone when you’re crying at the end of the line, people who hugs you and tells you they love you.
But these people expect you to recovery in a couple of weeks, they expect you to wake up one morning and be okay, they expect that with an ” i love you” and a hug, you will get better in a short time, they expect you to say “thank you for being there, i’m feeling far much better now”
But you’re not, you will not get better in a couple of weeks or even months it takes sometimes years to get better, recovery is long and you will relapse again and again before actually saying “i’m okay”
People will abandoned you because they find you annoying, nobody wants someone who cries all the time, who don’t go out, who takes pills and don’t laugh at your funny jokes, nobody wants to take care of someone who cant get out of bed and always complains, nobody hangs out with someone who can’t handle himself,
People will get tired of your shit
The perfect recovery will be with people who don’t give up on you, people who knows you need a bubble around you to protect yourself from the rest of the world, people who knows when to tell you they love you, when to hug you, people who always be there when you’re crying in your bed at 4 am, people who will never pressure you about anything, people who will always tells you you’re good enough
People like this don’t exist. There will be people who cares, but only for a while. Even your mom will give up at some point.
It doesn’t mean you have to give up too.
Depression’s recovery is a long road and you will be lonely, you will learn to not trust people, you will learn to not expect anything from them, and eventually you will learn to handle yourself on your own.
It’s okay to feel selfish and to cry a lot, it’s okay to relapse, to have bad days or even to be angry against the whole bloody earth
You have to know that you will get hurt by the others as much as by yourself
People always talk about how you fall into depression, we don’t talk about the recovery part, the journey of how you decide to live instead of killing yourself, how every morning you make the effort to wake up, dress yourself, brush your teeth and meet the rest of the society
In books, they talk about the urge of hurting yourself, the black hole in your chest, the jump from the bridge but what happened when you choose life , what happened when you choose recovery. Nobody cares. It will not makes you a hero at their eyes. Killing yourself will. But handle it. No, that’s just a story you don’t talk about. Nothing to praise about right ?
i’m here to tell you that if you get trough this, you’re a hero. You’re your own hero. You don’t need anybody to approve it. You’re a warrior if you feel like a warrior. You choose life instead of death. You choose to fight. It’s hard and painful and this war nobody will see it because It’s invisible. But it exists . This war in your mind, this fight against yourself, gosh it’s the hardest battle in the world. But if you win it, you will be able to handle everything else.
Depression’s recovery will make you feel annoying and you will be lonely, you will be alone in this fight.
But at the end you will be okay
And you will have no one to thanks for that